When it gets hard…

In the early days during the newborn period, some days were much harder than others. Both parents being sleep deprived. We certainly benefited from help from our parents during this time.

One month in, I was left alone with the baby. This was by far the hardest day for me. It was memorable, indeed. I remember being sleep deprived (we all were), and baby was crying no matter what I did. I could just not get her to calm down. It made me feel like I was failing my baby, and I was anxious and frustrated. I am pretty sure were both crying at some point. In that moment, I also felt so alone and in a fog, and decided to leave the baby to cry in the crib, while I called my mom and my husband at work for some advice.

This was the hardest day I can remember experiencing. It is really challenging to do this all by yourself. I have a lot of respect for my parents who came to Canada with almost nothing and raised three young children, including a newborn while building their business. I have a lot of respect for those who do all this without any other support. I have a lot of respect for organizations and individuals who help new parents. You are all amazing!

I think the best thing I did on that really challenging day was to take a step back and breathe. I left my baby where I knew she was safe, and I could come back to her. After that break, and chatting to my loved ones (my support network), I went back into being a new mommy, with fresh outlook and never looked back.

A few days after this, my baby cried out at 4am for a feed. I picked her up from the crib and she gave me the biggest, most beautiful smile. I ugly cried. Yes, I did. In that very moment, everything was worth it.

Every moment, I cherish my baby. Every new development is something to absolutely marvel at. I am ever-enchanted by the developing mind, the developing child. As a paediatrician with a special interest in development, I get the privilege of  seeing a lot of babies grow and develop and that has been a really rewarding experience. Seeing snap shots every few months is wonderful. Seeing the changes everyday is mind-blowing. 

It is really hard being a new mom – your body is all different and weaker, your hormones are all over the place, you feel like you are going through it alone! This is where talking to other moms has become so helpful for me. I would love to read about your experiences and how you overcame any challenging moments.

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